THE DAILY IMPROV 1

"TIL DEATH..."

"I don't like it this way," Mary said to her husband Peter as he bent her over the couch and hiked her skirt up.
"You never had a problem with it before. You asked me to do this way all the time. You said it was easier because you didn't have to see my face." He pulled her skirt down and moved away from her. Dejected, Peter sighed a great sigh and poured himself a glass of Bourbon from a decanter on the bar.
"Can I have one," Mary asked and sat on the arm of the couch, "I'll take ice in mine if you don't mind."
"Yeah, alright," Peter murmured and removed some ice from the ice bucket with a tiny set of tongs that he could barely manipulate with his large fingers, "Fuck it." he said and tossed the tongs across the room. His thick fingers grabbed a fist full of ice and tossed into a glass. He poured a healthy amount of bourbon over the ice and handed the glass to Mary. The ice in the glass tinkled and chirped like music from a jewelry box.
"I'm sorry Peter. After we have our drinks, let's try it again. Maybe, I'll be loosened up a little bit...more relaxed."
"Nah, I don't want to anymore. Shit, Mary, you won't even let me kiss you. A man can only stand so much you know?
"I know," she said, "Are you going to leave me?"
"Where the hell would I go? We've been together for so long. I don't know anything but you. I don't know how to do anything but you. When we're in bed, your body is mine, an extension of mine. I feel all of you movements in my nerve endings, all of your inhalations and exhalations are mind, all of your blood my blood. Even the rumblings in your intestines are like extensions of my own. Our small intestines joined like an equator around our hearts."
"What are you talking about," she said, "I think we both need another drink."
"I think, you're right." he said and refreshed their glasses. From the corner of his eye he saw Mary stretch out her leg and rub her hands up and down her white stocking. She adjusted a garter to smooth out a wrinkle in the silk.
He loved it when she wore garters.
"Why don't you want me Mary?"
"That's just it, I do want you. Sometimes I want you so bad that I scare myself."
"I wish you told me this before."
"Before what?"
"Before I put roofie in your drink."
"What is a rupee?"
"Not rupee, roofie,you know, the date rape drug."
"So, you're going to fuck me while I'm drugged, is that your plan?"
"No, no. I told you, I don't want to anymore."
"Then, why did you drug me?"
"You sound like you want me to do you when your drugged." Peter said. He made himself another drink. "You're glass is empty, do you want another one?"
"With or without the drug? Ha. It might be interesting though."
"What's that," Peter said as he made two more drinks. Mary rocked back and forth on the arm of the couch, her balance off, she staggered while sitting down, her stiletto feet shuffled along the carpeted floor, but she went nowhere.
"Fucking me, here and now, while I'm all spaced the fuck out, taking me from behind on the arm of this couch the way you really want to, doing me ana...an...sodom...ana...in my butttttttt," Marry said. Her words slurred and she laughed, "Damn, this shit is good. Freaking animal tranquilizer isn't it?"
"Yeah," there's some kind of funny irony there isn't there." Peter said. "I mean, human beings using animal tranquilizers to get laid. It's funny isn't it?"
"I guess, soooooo," Mary said. Her mouth numb. Now instead of just slurring her words, she slurred everything. "How's that lyric by chevy chasesimon and garfunkelgo "how the camera follows us in slow mo. Steve Austin the six billionaire dollar man, that doesn't seem like a lot of money anymore. Did you put that shit in your drink too?"
"Boy in the fucking Bubble Paul mutha-fucka Simon Graceland. Now there was a way to die, Elvis on the can." Peter said. "No, I put the roofie in the ice bucket, I'm just getting drunk...very drunk."
"So, what was your plan Elvis the Pelvis, get me all liquored up and watch me fall?" You really weren't going to have sex with me," Mary said, "Aw shit, the house is spinning wheeeeeee." She fell onto the couch, her legs in the air, skirt up to her waist, Peter saw that she had shaved herself, a tiny razor nick on the inside of her left thigh bled a tear. He had never been this unhorney in his entire life. Her exposed shaved crotch made his head ache. The fact that he still loved her though caused his stomach to churn.
"I contacted a porn website called Back-to-the-Cave, been emailing back and forth with this guy Rex."
"Rex?" She said, "Really, really, back to the cave...who thinks this shit up?" With her legs still spread wide, Mary touched herself and without being at all self-conscious she began to pleasure herself while looking into her husband's eyes. "You like this Peter? You like it when I do this?"She said. She whispered his name over and over,"Peter, you like it when I do this, don't you Peter, when I get myself all...you like it, don't you?"
"Not anymore Mary," Peter said. He opened up a new bottle of bourbon, made himself another drink, this time with ice. "Anyway, not to interrupt you self-love there but as I was saying, I made contact with Rex and arranged it for him to send as many of his well endowed young men as possible to our house tonight, film crew and all and their going to gang bang the shit out of you."
Mary laughed, "When are they coming," she said.
"Their not," Peter said. I called Rex and cancelled.
"You did, juuuuuuust like you Peter cotton tail...chicken shit. D you want to see me come Peter? I'm gonna cum baby, just for yooooooou."
"No...I don't and you won't. At first, I thought I get drunk and let the men have their way with you, stream on it on the Internet...get you all doped up, but, no."
"Nooooooooo, baby?" Mary said. She stopped touching herself and laid back on the couch, and laughed. She could not stop laughing.
"No, baby. I thought drunk would be good enough, but I put some ice in my drink, the ice with the rupee, just enough to take the edge off, one ice cube or two, it doesn't really matter. Instead of having you gang raped. I came up with something better."
"What's that oooooooooooh, God everything is so weird....ssoslow...aand then aww wow. Why don't you come over here and make love to me. Kiss me Peter, Kiss me, right on my face, on my lips, put your tongue in my mouth. I loooooooooove you Pettttttter, IIiiiiiii Lovvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeee Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu."
"I love you too Mary, but I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this, in a passionless, sexless marriage."
"OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH baaaaaaaaby, just makke loooooooooooove tooooooo meeeeeeeeeeee. Plllleeeeeaaaassssseeeeee?"
"No Marry, I'm going to kill you and then, I'm going to kill myself."
"KIIIIIIIllllllll me, hahahahahahh, howwwww baby hoooowwwwwwwwww?"
"With a Seppku knife I bought over the Internet."
Peter took a knife in a sheath from behind the bar. He pulled the knife out and held up to the light coming from the living room lamp. Marry still on her back, couldn't move, except to squirm on the couch and laugh and laugh, even as the blade of the Seppuku knife sliced open her chest. she laughed.
"I love you Marry."
"I love you toooooooo Peter." Mary said as he plunged the seppuku knife into her again and then again and then again, and once more.